What the heck happened to my business plan?

I am the first one to tell people that in order to make God laugh, all you need to do is tell him your plans.  It's all fun and games until it's my plan that gets smashed to pieces.

I had a bullet proof business plan.  For two months I have been busting my tail to attain it, taking trainings, putting processes into place, and making sure to reach out to 5 new contacts every day.  My calendar was FILLED, I was all signed up for our Destination Diamond program, and I was going to be a director by October.

That was my plan.  The math was there, the formula was working, and my team had a record breaking month in August.  Not to mention, Damsel in Defense released the September special.....$99 to join?  Holy canoli!!!! I jumped right into the month with gazelle intensity that would have made Dave Ramsey blush!

At the same time, I was undergoing a series of tests because my body was a little out of whack.  Okay, by a little out of whack, I mean if I was a golf ball getting whacked by Happy Gilmore, that would be the out of whack my body was being.

Still, a little thyroid medication here, a month of water pills there, some blood work, and some invasive tests were NOT going to stop my road to director.

Then, one beautiful morning, I got the call.  It was my doctor's assistant telling me that my doctor wanted me to come in right away to discuss some test results.

My heart stopped.  "Can you just tell me over the phone?" I asked.  No.  No, she couldn't.  My doctor will only go over these results in person.

Well that's it, isn't it.  I'm dying.

Through a series of miracles and child care clients who are more like family than clients, parents showed up out of the woodwork to get their kiddos so that my husband could go be with me to hear my sentence.

The doctor's office was somber.  Everyone spoke to me in a lower and more careful tone.  I was checked in, and sitting in a room full of future mommies waiting to see their babies on ultrasound or to find out how they were progressing.  I was waiting to find out what the rest of my life was going to look like.  It was like driving through darkness with no headlights.

Finally, we were called back.  Uncomfortably, we shared very few words as we waited for the doctor.  An eternity passed, and every movement I made was emphasized by the deafening sound of the paper underneath me.   My heart pounded in my chest, and I struggled not to run away.

Then she came in and told me the news.  I had cancer, however there was a good chance she got it all.

Wait....
what?...
I have what?...
Did you say......?

She kept talking, but I am sure I stuck my head under water, because that's what it sounded like...distorted echoes of her voice answering my husband's questions.

There was no prognosis, just a referral to an oncologist....an.....oncologist.....

My oncologist.  The one who would be treating my cancer.

There's that word again.

Wait, I don't have cancer.  Didn't she say she got it all?  Why do I need an oncologist?

The next week was a mixture of hyperventilating, crying, numbness, and not knowing what to say when people had questions.

What stage is it?
What is the prognosis?
What do you need?

I need this to go AWAY because I have a BUSINESS to run!!!!

Next I met with my oncologist, who told me again that I had cancer, and I would be having surgery that will knock me out for 6-12 weeks.

What?

Director is slipping from my fingertips again.......

Then it hit me...oh yeah, my plan isn't always the plan I get to have.

Sometimes you have to put yourself in check and remember that you're not in control.

Has it slowed my business?

Yes.

I have been taking more time with my babies, snuggling my husband, taking care of myself, and preparing for the long winter ahead.  Am I still working?  Heck yes, but my balance has changed.  Director will be there when it's time to be there.  Until then, I'm going to be focusing on the things I can control.

My prognosis is good.  I will be having a radical hysterectomy with a small possibility of radiation.

Cloudy with a chance of radioactive meatballs.....

I am staying positive.  I have come to terms with the phrase, "I have cancer".  I can say it without crying my face off.  I can say that I need prayers, encouragement, and support.

My business plan will be modified, and I will take the time I need to heal, but I'm not going to give up or let this stop me from my goals.  That is the beauty of a business like Damsel in Defense, you can work it around your needs instead of having to work around a boss and an unreal work schedule.  I don't know what I would do if it wasn't for the flexibility of this business.

I will say one thing.  I would be lost in my business if I didn't have a business plan in place.  I may be modifying it, but I still have clear goals and actions in place.

Today I have decided that it's not my business plan.  It's God's business plan, and I'm going to work with what he gives me.