Wonder Woman Wednesday-Stretch out your hand

There comes a time in your journey when you have to stop, turn around, and look at the impact your life has had on the world.  When I used to look back, I would see the devastation of an F-5 tornado a mile wide that would trail off as far as you could see from outer space.  Now when I look back, I see art.  I see poetry and beauty, ice and fire, crashing waves on the wings of butterflies, and through even the worst misery of my darkest moments, I see a mighty oak that stretches into the night sky as far as the eye can see.

The women I have chosen for today’s Wonder Woman Wednesday are no strangers to pain and sorrow.  They have experienced it, seen their loved ones experience it, watched it, and heard about it every single day.  It would be so easy for them to just run away and hide from it, to deny it’s very existence, but instead they face it head on hand-in-hand because they can see the beauty in the darkness as well.  When they turn around, I’m sure they could choose to see a million paths of a million tornadoes just pressing down on them with nowhere to turn.  The devastation they hear about and see on a regular basis would send even the strongest person running to the hills, yet there they stand together, unfaltering, just like the mighty oak they have planted in my path.

These women are wise beyond even their own knowledge and strong beyond their own bravery, and they might not even see it themselves, but I have seen it.  Even trembling with sorrow, they continue to reach down and say, “Stretch out your hand, there is healing here.” 

Stretch out your hand. 

It seems so simple, but until you've tried to rescue a victim from the deep waters of despair you have no idea the peril it can cause as they pull your heart under with them like a drowning victim in the middle of the ocean.  Yet they continue on.

Stretch out your hand.

It began with a friendship which turned into an idea that led them to the place where they are today.  What they once thought was a business venture has become a mission encompassing both joy and hardship, life and death, faith and healing….the list could go on and on forever as you dive into the depth of their being.

Still, they ask you to stretch out your hand.  There is healing here.  There is safety here.  You can leave your fear behind, shed the very skin of your old self, and be reborn anew.  All you have to do is stretch out your hand.  They will take it.  Every time.  Not only will they take it and pull you to a new level of being, but they will show you that we have all had to be pulled from the fire.  Even them.  We've all had to be pulled from the darkness and the shame, but in order to do that, we've had to do one thing.

Stretch out our hands.

The two women I bring before you on this night of revival are two of the most hard working, genuine, real women I have ever had the honor of sharing the same space with.  They have shown me more about myself than I thought I could ever possibly be there.   They showed me that I was strong and brave and shameless and filled with grace unlike the poison filled slug I used to think I was.  They proved to me that I am worthy of a life worth living, and I promise you that if you are ever in their presence, you will see that you have a live worth living to the fullest of the word full, but first, you have to stretch out your hand.

Tonight we celebrate Bethany Hughes and Mindy Lin, the Co-Founders of Damsel in Defense.  I have watched them take on the hardest mission, go to the hardest places, hear the hardest stories, and do the hardest things to build strong women.  I have watched them wretch with sorrow, swallow it down, and turn around and make it into something beautiful, and I have watched them do it with passion, with grace, and with dignity.

Tonight I ask you, are you ready to stretch out your hand?  Are you ready to see the mission behind this great company and let it reach deep into your soul where it will guide you to a place where you can see your true worth?  What do you want to see when you turn around and take stock of the path you've left behind?  Do you want to see a path of destruction, or do you want to see a mighty oak? 

Stretch out your hand.  There is healing here.  I am proof of the strength in these women.  I am a testament to their character.  When I see them, I see sisters, warriors, teachers, and great leaders.  I see Wonder Women.  

 If you are ready to share your story and help us in #fightingback against abuse towards women, email sunshine@yourdamseldiva.com. 

Wonder Woman Wednesday-faceless strength

Every time I teach women common sense self defense, one of the things I say most often is to fight back.  Fight back.  It’s better to die fighting at location A than to die on their terms with their plan in location B.  Fight back.  You are the only one responsible for your safety, so f.i.g.h.t.b.a.c.k.

I would like to introduce you to a young woman.  We do not have her name, just her story.

At 4 feet 8 inches tall and 80 pounds dripping wet, this 15-year-old is perfect for a quick nab and grab.  She entered the elevator in her building completely carefree.  Curtis Tucker followed her onto that elevator. 

Prosecutor Melissa Mourges explained the event:

 A grainy surveillance video shows the elevator stop at the girls floor, and then you could see her legs flailing as he threw her to the elevator floor which climbed to the top floor.  Tucker then dragged her out of the elevator and into the stairwell where the girl gave him all of the property she had, which included a student Metrocard and a one dollar bill.

Angered, Tucker punched her in the face because she wouldn’t stop screaming and choked her repeatedly, causing her to lose consciousness, but the girl kept fighting.  That’s what Curtis Tucker thought, but he got more than he bargained for.

Our young hero fought so fiercely that they tumbled down three flights of fire stairs.  Once at the bottom, Tucker pulled her pants down and tried to rape her, but she fought past him and ran to her apartment.

When she pounded on the door, her brother didn’t even recognize her at first.  She suffered a broken nose, black eyes, cuts and bruises to her entire body, and permanent disfigurement in the form of a torn lip that didn’t heal properly and is noticeable to this day.

At the crime scene, forensics analysts gathered clots of blood and clumps of hair as well as the Metrocard, a blood stain, and Tucker’s eyeglasses, which were used to piece together his DNA.

This terrible crime was unsolved for years until Tucker was picked up for an attack on a disabled 74-year-old in the same building.  He had to give a DNA sample, which led them to the attack on the teen years before.

Mourges told Manhattan Supreme Court Justice Renee White that the girl was too traumatized to appear for sentencing stating, “She never felt safe again in her building, in her elevator, in her home. She was escorted by family every time she left her apartment for years after this happened.  Every time she looks in the mirror, she sees a reminder of what this defendant did.” Mourges explained.

Tucker was sentenced to 15 years, a sentence he will begin when he completes his sentence for a robbery in 2014.

Because this nameless young woman suffered an attempted rape and signs of that attack remain on her body, her bravery to fight back saved her life.   Because of that, Wonder Woman Wednesday goes to this nameless young woman who could be any one of us or any one of our children.  May she find hope through her survival and use it to lead others out of the darkness.  May we spread awareness so high and low that attackers are afraid that all women will fight back.  May this young woman give you cause to do hard things to push back the darkness. 

If you or someone you know has a story to tell, please email sunshine@yourdamseldiva and it may be a Wonder Woman Wednesday feature.