Showing posts with label wonder woman wednesday. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wonder woman wednesday. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 8, 2016

Wonder Woman Wednesday-1000 Mile Walk

Survivor is a strong word.  It means you faced trauma and made it through.  Trauma either sucks the life from you and those around you, or it fills you with hope that one day we may live in a trauma free world, and that hope pours from you, spilling into the world.

Paulette McKenzie Leaphart is a survivor.  As a young girl, abuse nearly killed her.  She could have let it fill her with darkness, but instead she lifted her eyes to God and made a deal that if he would see her through the darkness, she would make a difference in the lives of children.  Paulette was filled with hope.

Her hope spilled out into the world around her, and she did grow up to make a difference in the lives of children.

Then, cancer nearly took her from them.  Paulette is a fighter, and she wasn’t about to let cancer have the last word.  Through the battle because of the cost of healthcare, she lost everything, including her home and transportation.  Still, through it all, she was filled with hope that she could make a difference.

It was hope that led her to take the first step in her 1000 mile walk to speak to congress with nothing but a few things, a stroller, and her 8-year-old daughter.  Paulette is on a mission to find a cure for cancer, and she’s walking topless in an effort to rally the troops and show everyone that cancer will not define her.  Her actions will define her.

On June 27th, she will show the world what it means to be a hero.  No matter how hard the road is, she still sings God’s praises and keeps a positive attitude, posting on Facebook, “Singing… I don’t feel no ways tired… NOOOOOO BODY TOLD me, the roads would be easy!!!!  And I don’t believe HE brought me this far to leave me!”

It takes a strong woman to be featured as a Wonder Woman Wednesday recipient, and Paulette blows strength out of the water.  I am honored to tell just a small piece of her story in hopes that it will amplify her strength. 

Please follow her hashtag #1000milewalk and Show her some love, and follow her journey on Facebook.  If you’re in her path, get out there and show your support.


  

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Wonder Woman Wednesday-The first Phoenix of 2016

When you think of sex trafficking, what do you envision?  For most it’s a kidnapped girl trapped in a dog crate and only let out for paying customers.  Although that does happen, most of the time it’s not like that. 

Let me tell you the story of a girl from Portland, Oregon named Jeri Williams.  A member of the Klamath tribe, she married at 19, she found herself on the other side of the country trying to raise four children with an abusive husband.  At the urging of a friend fro
m Portland, she left that situation.  She and moved back to the West Coast to live with that friend, and that’s where the real nightmare began.

You see, this friend was no friend at all.  She was a former sex worker whose brother was a leader for the local Crips set.  This friend, who was pregnant, was being paid in crack cocaine to recruit women into prostitution. 

Jeri Williams
Jeri tells this horrendous account, “[The gang members would] pick up young girls to recruit downtown in Pioneer Square, bring them back to my apartment and pull trains on them on my couch.” I stopped her for clarification. “Trains. Gang rape them. You know, one after the other. And then they would say, ‘you’re a whore, you need to go out and walk the streets or we’ll tell your mom. Or if you get arrested, you know, it won’t be our fault, it’ll be your fault ‘cause you hung out with us.”

Jeri’s friend who urged her to move away from her husband for safety tricked her.  She ended up on the streets turning tricks while her ‘friend’ babysat her children and allegedly used them as bait to draw in other young women.

Jeri was kept in a locked room by her pimp, who often times let his friends in to rape her.  She was only let out from 8pm to 6am to work.  She had to bring back at least $300 each night, which she estimates to be about 15 dates.  Fifteen different men every single night.  

She finally got her chance to break free when a john tried robbing her and stabbed her in the back and arm.  She fought for her life and her money and when she brought it “home” her pimp sent her back out on the streets the next day to 'get back in the saddle'.  Shortly after, he was arrested for something.  Now she had help from the authorities to get out, but it was not easy. 

On her journey towards healing, she attended Portland Community College to get her degree to become an alcohol and drug counselor, and she also fell back into the pattern of dating abusive men and drug dealers.  During one night, the police kicked down her door and found Uzis and 27 grams of crack cocaine on the table.  Jeri received a felony conviction for the dealings of her boyfriend and her children were placed in foster care.  When she got out of jail, she was homeless for a while before moving into the West Woman’s Shelter for just over a year.   This is where she burned down her former self and emerged as a phoenix.

She stared working as a housekeeper at a Portland Red Lion Inn and was introduced to local unions and community organizing.  She co-founded the Urban Workers Union which unionized parking-lot attendants in 2001.  She became the executive director of the Environmental Justice Action group and helped defeat the expansion of I-5 that runs through low income communities in Portland.  The Governor appointed her to two task forces that worked on transportation and trade issues. 

In 2006, she won the Alston Bannerman Fellowship Award for activists of color and was offered a job with the Diversity Civic Leadership Program that teaches civic engagement to communities of color and immigrant-refugee communities.

Through all of this, her story began to emerge.  She began speaking about it to church groups because she realized, just as all survivors do, healed hearts heal hearts.  She has worked actively to help bring a human face to the problem of sex trafficking, and even has testified before Congress.  She is now a grandmother and activist, and the ripples she makes in the world create change. 

Because of her unfailing bravery to face her struggle, Jeri is the first woman featured on Wonder Woman Wednesday for 2016.  Her story is proof that you aren't the sum of the things you've done or the things that have been done to you.  There is light after the darkness.  


January is National Human Trafficking Awareness month.  Learn how you can help by contacting sunshine@yourdamseldiva.com.

Be bold.
xoxo
The Stun Gun Girl

Thursday, October 8, 2015

Wonder Woman Wednesday-The Thursday edition


Due to computer malfunction, this article wouldn't post yesterday.  We're going to try again!

27-year- old mother-of-two, Brooke Beaton, was just a girl who worked at Chevys Fresh Mex and planned to start taking classes on at the University Center when she found herself driving her car with her boyfriend - who has not been named - in the passenger seat.

After he became angry, he punched her in the face, struck her again, choked her and tried to take away her phone, she said.

'I ended up at a gas station about five miles away from where we were,' Beaton told the Argus Leader. 'He was wiping up the crime scene with a paper towel from the gas pump.'

Beaton said her blood was spattered on the ground and all over her cell phone.

Her attacker eventually let her take him to his home and she drove away to her own house.
Once she arrived home she called the police and a sheriff's deputy. The next day she called her good friend Tiffany Thoelke, a freelance photographer, and planned a photo shoot.

Beaton, who had modeled before decided that her assault would be the perfect platform to raise awareness of domestic violence and how suddenly it can happen. 

Her boyfriend, who she had been dating for 4 months but had been friends with for 8 years was arrested for domestic aggravated assault and interference with emergency communication because he stopped her from calling for help. 

Since Brooke posted the photos on her social media, the outpouring of support and stories of other survivors have poured in.

Her cool head got her out of a terrible situation, and her bravery allowed her to pick up the phone.  Her extraordinary courage brought her in front of a camera unafraid to show the damage that had been done so that people would notice domestic violence happens everywhere and can happen to anyone.  Because of her strength, Brooke Beaton is this week’s Wonder Woman.

Learn more about Wonder Women or submit your story to Sunshine@YourDamselDiva.com.

Wonder Women....may we know them, may we be them, may we raise them.

XOXO,

The Stun Gun Girl


Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Wonder Woman Wednesday-BREEessrig's story

The bravery it takes to step forward and use your story to help someone else is something that should be taken very seriously.  When you already spend your time in the public eye like BREEessrig who has a very successful Youtube channel, stepping out with your story can be more terrifying that you can imagine.

This week, BREEessrig's bravery and courage to step up and tell her story gives her this week's Wonder Woman Wednesday spot.

If you have been a victim of sexual assault, you are not alone.  There are resources and people out there ready to help you.  If you would like to have your story considered for the Wonder Woman Wednesday spotlight, please email Sunshine@YourDamselDiva.com.  You never know who will be touched by your experiences and could begin to heal from their trauma through your story.


Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Wonder Woman Wednesday-Body Positivity

There are some women in this world who seem to have it all.  Money, fame, sex appeal, a thin body, perfect hair…you name it, whatever you see as perfect may be out there, but it’s just an illusion.  On the other hand, there are some women out there who struggle at every turn. 

One of those women is an overweight actress who has made her way into a long line of blockbuster movies with her Chris Farley-esqe antics.  No matter how good of a human she may be on the inside, she is met with resistance at every turn.  Critics call her fat, even ‘tractor sized’, and scoff at how unattractive she is.  Boy, what that must do to a person’s heart.  Even still, the once fit and thin woman who some would say lost track of her looks wants to take a stand against body shaming critics, and to do that, she’s creating a line of clothing that will have all sizes of women feeling good in their own skin.  She said she wants to empower women no matter what the number on their clothing tag is.

Because of her body positivity campaign, cries of ‘hippo’ and ‘fat’ were drowned out by the cheers of women everywhere who dream of a world where no one cares what you look like on the outside.  A beautiful ocean of body positive women lifted this actress up and carried her message through the world.

That was…until they all turned on her.

After her last movie, she hit the red carpet and estimated 50 pounds lighter, and immediately the body positivity gurus hit the blogsphere about the day that their favorite body positive fat actress sold them out.  Sold them out.  As if she sat in a back room tapping her fingers together and laughing diabolically as she marched forward on her….treadmill.

So, not only is she the girl with a fat critic problem, she’s a girl…with…a…fat…critic…problem as her chubby adorers turned on her like the nice old lady with the candy house who suddenly pushes you into an oven.  No matter where she turns, she’s met with resistance.  Suddenly every tabloid in the universe is asking her the age old question, “What’s your secret?”


Oh my GOSH people!  Can’t you leave a girl alone?

Graciously, she answers, “I just quit stressing out.”  Really, one day, she just decided to let it all go and 50ish pounds went away with it.  Still, no matter what size and shape she’s in, who hates her for being overweight, or who hates her for losing it, she is moving forward with her clothing line because she is tired of plus sized women having fewer options than their fashion forward smaller counterparts.  In an interview, she talked about the negativity an overweight actress goes through in Hollywood, from the critics to not being able to find a designer that will dress you for the red carpet for your Oscar nominated role…yes, I said Oscar nominated role.  Every designer is dying to dress Angelina, but not the chubby girl.  Finally, she purchased a dress by a designer that you would be able to find at Saks or Bloomingdales, while most actresses were flitting around in dresses they don’t get to keep that would cost your first born to own. 

She was so frustrated that there were not any amazing plus sized fashions and said, “You either look like a 90-year-old, or a 14-year-old hooker.”

Because of her uphill battle, her dedication to body positivity and never giving up even though someone’s face is always against her, Melissa McCarthy is this week’s Wonder Woman.  You don’t have to be battered and beaten by somebody’s hands to be a survivor.  McCarthy is a strong leader and a beautiful woman, both on the inside and outside. 

This body positive Damsel empowerment blogger can't wait to wear something from Melissa's line.  


If you are fighting with being overweight, underweight, or any other over/under, you’re not alone.  There are millions fighting right alongside you.  Don't let body negativity sink you into depression.  

If you're not, help spread the message of body positivity.  Support organizations that help lift women up rather than holding them back.  Most of all, never, ever judge a person by their size, color of their skin, or other features.  You are beautiful, no matter what size you are.  


#EndFatShaming #LoveAllHumans #PushBackTheDarkness #ShineTheLight #MelissaMcCarthyIsRad #AllPeopleMatter #AlwaysKeepFighting 

   


Thursday, April 30, 2015

Wonder Woman Wednesday-Always Keep Fighting

I know, I know, Wonder Woman has been on vacation for a while, but I promise she's back and has gathered some stories that are going to make you laugh, make you cry, and call you to action.

This week was a peculiar week for me.  It seems that every time I tell my story, I peel back another layer of the onion.  Things that only sort of made sense suddenly are clear because I'm no longer looking at them through the film of the other layers.  Well, it happened again as I met with one of the founders of OAASIS this week to discuss speaking for them.  And then it happened again.

There is this amazing campaign going on right now called Always Keep Fighting.  It started when a very famous and very brave soul shared his struggles with depression openly for the world to watch.  He partnered up with another organization and decided to use his fame to spread awareness.

What stared out as awareness for suicidal thoughts, depression, and self harm suddenly spiraled into awareness for the broken.  I spend the better part of last night pouring through story after story of countless brave and beautiful souls who, many for the first time ever, were sharing snapshots of the struggles in their lives.  I read about a 9/11 first responder, soldiers, teenagers, mothers, grandmothers, people struggling with chronic and fatal illnesses, survivors, and so many struggling with self harm.  I knew I was going to share my story, because it's become my biggest tool in helping lead others through the darkness, but I never knew that I was going to share parts of my story that I had never shared before...and for the first time understand an event that happened in full HD clarity.

I sat in front of the computer screen, feeling I had just let loose a wounded little girl who was cowering in the corner, and all I wanted to do was tell her that it gets better.  That little girl was me.  There is still so much healing to be done.

If you don't know Jared Padalecki, he's worth learning about.  He's most famous for his tenure as Sam Winchester in the hit TV show Supernatural, where he plays the emotional and much more level headed...well, sometimes level headed brother of Dean Winchester.  For the last ten years, adoring fans worldwide have watched him live, die, come back, fight monsters, and battle his own demons.  When he stepped forward to talk about the depression he'd experienced, even in the midst of fame and fortune, he did it with intention to send a ripple of hope out into the world.  He has done just that.
I don't know how long it will take me to read all of the stories posted on his facebook page, but I'm willing to bet I'll spend the better part of forever attempting to do it.  To see the lives that have been changed, and the people who have come together to purchase the Always Keep Fighting shirt in an effort to raise money for organizations that help people who are broken has been truly amazing, and you can see how humbled Jared is when he talks about the depth of what is happening.

For all of his hard work, this week's Wonder Woman isn't a woman at all.  He's a man named Jared Padalecki, and he's started a social revolution.  If you haven't seen the Always Keep Fighting shirts around, you will soon.  So far there have been 2 campaigns, and photos of people in their shirts are coming in from all around the world.  Thank you Jared for lighting the match.  It's just a spark, but it's enough.

The first two shirt campaigns are over, but I can only imagine what they will come up with next so that we will always remember to stay strong, bond together, and always keep fighting.


If you or someone you know has a story of overcoming hardships in their lives and using their story to inspire and help others, please email Sunshine@YourDamselDiva.com to be considered for Wonder Woman Wednesday.





Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Wonder Woman Wednesday-February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month

February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month, an no one knows the importance of spreading awareness than Johanna Orozco. 

Johanna’s story was featured on an episode of the hit show I Survived because in the first 13 years of her life she lost both of her parents.  First, her mother became very ill and passed away, then just two weeks later, her father was taken from her in a fatal car accident.

A few years passed, and she met a boy named Juan.  She thought they were happy and easily fell in love with him, but over time, the relationship started to change. 

Orozco said that the abuse began as jealousy then moved to accusations of cheating.  Soon after that, he started using his hands to push and shove her.  Every time, he would apologize and profess his love for her, begging forgiveness.  When she got up the courage to break up with him, things took a turn for the worst and Juan raped Johanna at knife point in her bedroom thinking he would win her back. 

Johanna and Juan
I would love to tell you that this is the end of the trauma for Johanna, but it’s not.  While on house arrest for raping her, he violated his arrest terms and went to her house.  Johanna was unable to react before he shot her in the face with a sawed off shotgun in her grandmother’s car in front of her home.  The gunshot blew off a large portion of her lower jaw.

Johanna is a fighter.  Through several reconstructive surgeries, she has survived.  While Juan is serving his 27-year prison sentence, Johanna continued high school, even attending prom.  She graduated and decided to use her experience to educate people about teen dating violence.  She has even found it in her heart to forgive and pray about Juan.  She is now happily married to a man who loves and supports her mission.

Johanna is not alone.  Teen dating violence is on the rise, and no one is talking about it.  Parents and teens both need to be educated on teen dating violence, how to avoid it, and how to get out of it before something terrible happens.  She has been on Oprah, The View, and I Survived to tell her story.  She travels speaking to groups of high schoolers to educate them on the reality of teen dating violence.

It’s important to have intervention education at the teen level because according to a study by the CDC, 1 in 6 high schoolers will be victims of teen dating violence.  According to the same study, 54% of domestic violence killings involve couples that began relationships as young adults.  What does this mean?  If we can head off abuse at the teen level, we can lower the statistics of domestic violence deaths in adults.

Because of her strength and willingness to share her story for the good of others, Johanna is this week’s Wonder Woman.  Hundreds of teens lives are being shaped by listening to Johanna's story, and she is actively working to change the face of domestic violence in America.  

Thank you for being brave enough to share your story with the world in an effort to make it a better place.


If you or someone you know has a story of survival, email sunshine@yourdamseldiva.com and your story may save somebody’s life.  


Thursday, January 8, 2015

Wonder Woman Wednesday-On the path to becoming whole

The story is often the same.  Predators seek out young pre-teen boys and girls with risk factors that make them easy to manipulate.  Risk factors often stem from any kind of abuse they experience from the people who are supposed nurture them.  Kids have a deep need to be loved and listened to, and predators know that.  Predators have a network of people who help them discover these children. 

Unlike on television, most human trafficking isn’t like a scene from Taken.  Most sex trafficking victims were not stolen from their beds or drug into a van on their way home from school.  Most of them already have broken spirits and desperately want to be saved.  Several times I have heard trafficking victims recount coming in contact with people who wanted to save them, and they thought, “I’ve already been saved,” because the life they are living as a trafficking victim is a better fate than they lived before.  At least they have a pimp who loves them at the end of the day.  He may be rough, call them every name in the book, beat them, and rape them, but he loves them.  He’s told them he loves them.  In one recent interview for Wonder Woman Wednesday, the girl who didn’t want to be named said her pimp used to say, “I love you so much, you’re gonna make me kill you, aren’t you?”  She believed it.  In her mind, with manipulated thinking patterns, she saw that as the most you could possibly be loved.

Lynda Oddo and her dog Ryder
Today I want to introduce you to Lynda Marie Oddo from Yonkers, New York.  Her parents, both drug addicts and alcohol, didn’t place her and her sibling as a priority at all.  One fateful day, they were taken away by the state and placed in separate foster homes.  Lynda was sexually abused in one of those foster homes when she was 6, and she was terrified to say anything.  When she was ten, an aunt and uncle with a loving family finally got her out of foster care and adopted her, but the damage had already been done.  She’d experienced sexual abuse already, started smoking cigarettes at age 7, pot by age 10, and by 13 she was using drugs, so she never felt she fit into this strait-laced family.  She was smart, but behind in school, she skipped classes, then she ran away.  She was a slightly overweight 16-year-old with zero self-esteem, and a desperate desire to be loved.

Lynda had a crush on a man with a hot dog truck named Joseph Defies, who acted like a gangster rapper.  Defeis introduced her to his friend Andy Fakhoury.  The two of them took her to parties, gave her drugs, and eventually, when she knew she would be in trouble at home for a bad report card, she ran away with them to go to a party. 

Joseph Defies on trial for his crimes
The men picked her up and took her to a hotel in Atlantic City where they partied until they passed out.  Lynda was drugged and could barely move when Fakhoury raped her.  She was terrified of him the next day because he acted like nothing had happened.  It happened again, and then Defeis started convincing her to sleep with people for money. 

She did it once, and she told them she would never do it again, but it was too late.  She had nowhere to go, no money to care for herself, and she felt trapped. 

Meanwhile, her uncle Steve Oddo and his four sons were breaking down doors trying to find her with no luck.

Lynda’s pimps kept her so drugged that often times she would be drooling on herself.  They also trapped another teenage girl into the same life, and the four of them moved to Rhode Island where indoor prostitution was legal, and proceeded to sell the girls for money on sites like backpage and craigslist.  Lynda, who looked younger than 16, was often forced to lie about her age and say she was much younger than she really was.

Andrew Fakhoury at his sentencing hearing
The two men also sold marijuana from their apartment and set up a music booth to make rap videos to celebrate the thug life.  Fakhoury called himself “Kash” and Defeis called himself “Jemz”, and they would rap about being gangsters in videos that showed them cruising around in a black SUV flashing fistfuls of hundred dollar bills.

They gave the girls drugs, didn’t allow them out of the apartment alone, and never in daylight.  They threatened them, beat them, told them they were worthless pieces of garbage and whores.

Lynda tried to escape a few times, but Defeis would always lure her back with promises of them finally being able to be a family.  Sometimes, after a long day of work, the four of them would sit on the couch and watch movies like they were just four friends again.  When the women fell asleep, Fakhoury would rape them, and if they fought back, he would beat them. 

When Lynda was 19, she was rescued by the police.  She is now 24 and she still struggles with addiction,  shame, self-worth, and the haunting memories of a sex trafficking victim.  Still, she fights those demons every day, offering up her story so that someone else in her situation might not feel as alone as she has.  She’s also connected with other victims in hopes that she can help them. 

Some days she curls up in a ball of tears and wants to disappear, but other days she wants to take up the fight against trafficking.

Lynda Oddo walks Ryder
Many of the trafficking stories you find are from women who are much farther in their healing path, and have established clear lines in the fight against sex trafficking, but at some point, they were all in Lynda’s footsteps, felling lost, vulnerable, ashamed, and dirty inside.  Escaping sex trafficking is the smallest part of the work they have ahead of them, which makes advocacy so important.

Lynda, you are not alone.  Your fight is not for nothing.  The shame you feel inside was not put there by you.  If I could say one thing to you, it would be to keep fighting.  Every day, no matter how hard, no matter how scary.  Keep learning, and keep reaching out.  There are huge networks of people who have formed a net to catch you when you fall.  You were not given a clear map on life, and you will have to look at someone else’s who has drawn a map from where you are.  Countless survivors have been in your shoes where you are right now.  You are not the first, you are not the only, and you are not alone. 


This week, Lynda receives the title of Wonder Woman Wednesday for her passion to spread awareness, for her survival, and for her dedication to helping others push back the darkness and shine the light.

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Wonder Woman Wednesday-Ripples of light in the darkness

Today I received an email for a writing contest in 2015 that somebody wanted me to enter.  The title of the contest was The Human Condition, which both the sender of the email and I thought would be a perfect type of writing contest for me to enter.

I eagerly opened the email and read on.  The prize for this particular contest was $12,000.  Yes, twelve thousand dollars.  Excited much?

I continued reading on as if God just sent me the most amazing gift, and then the rules stopped me.  The author of this contest has to be a U.S. resident.  The article must be about the human condition in a third world country. 

Don’t get me wrong, it wasn't the loss of a twelve thousand dollar reward that frustrated me.  It was the fact that there is so much to write about the human condition here that I can’t even begin to focus any of my time on foreign issues.  Not that they aren't important, and God has charged people with the task of spreading awareness on the international front, but I know my coverage has to be on the human condition right here in our country.  Specifically the human trafficking condition.


According to Force For Compassion, 3287 people are sold or kidnapped and forced into slavery every day.  The largest majority of those people are woman and children being coerced into sex trafficking.  The FBI reported that more than 100,000 children are sold for sex in the United States each year.  It’s in every state, every city, and every county.  It’s not a problem of poverty or privilege; it’s a human problem spanning every race, class, and culture.  Everyone knows it’s happening somewhere, but the majority of people don’t acknowledge it unless it directly affects them.

Today, I want to tell the story of a girl who we will call Amber, because that was her street name.  She was a beautiful, 5’11” dark skinned beauty with Kenyan features and honey colored eyes.  At 15, she was an all-star athlete,  a rock star academically, and she loved her parents and family.  Part time, she worked at a convenience store in her upper middle-class suburban neighborhood. 

Every day, this beautiful man would come in just to purchase a drink so he could talk to her.  She knew her father’s rules about boys and dating, so it took this man a very long time to win her heart, but he kept trying.  The fact that he was well into his 20’s also made hard for him to get close to her, but she never told anyone about him because he made her feel so good when she saw him, she didn’t want that to end.  Amber was sure her father would kill an older man for trying to put the moves on his baby girl.

Over time, talking became touching, but only slightly.  He would tell her how beautiful she was and run his fingers down her arm, or brush her hair back from her face.  He lavished her with gifts, which she hid from her parents.  She always wore the jewelry he gave her while she worked, but would then hide it deep in her purse before she got home.  After more time passed, she would lie about doing things with friends to go on dates to the theater or to upscale parties with him.  He always bought her beautiful dresses to wear to these things, which she begged him to keep with him so her parents wouldn’t find them.  For her 16th birthday, he took her to a very expensive restaurant and presented her with a promise ring and said, “I promise I will always protect you as long as you trust what I say.”

She had no idea that by accepting that ring and his love she was also accepting his rule over her.  That night, he took her to a hotel room and she gave herself to him fully.  He asked her to run away with him and she could live in his mansion as his queen, and she accepted.  A week later, she was living in a mansion far from her family home.  That’s when the beating, the rape, and the forced drug use started.  He had other girls that lived there too, and they were all jealous of each other, wanting to be the queen of the household, so on several occasions, they helped him break her.  Within the first two weeks, she was working, both on the street and at the same upscale parties she used to be his date to.  She would stand in the corner, not taking any food or drinks from trays or looking anyone in the eye, and when she was summoned, she would go with whoever she was told.  Her features made her a commodity, and men gladly paid thousands of dollars for sex with her. 

The man she loved, who spent a year grooming her now only spoke to her as if she was a dog.  If she was really good, he would let her watch television during the few hours she had off every day.  He would fly her all across the nation to work high profile events, often being purchased by celebrities and rappers.  She quickly realized that not only did everyone at those parties know what she was, but knew what she was to become before she fled with him.

By the end of the first year, she was a hardened shell of the girl she once was.  Her heart ached for her family who probably had no idea she was even alive, but she didn't dare contact them, because her pimp said he would kill them all.  She believed him.

Many times he beat her so badly that a doctor had to come in and assess her wounds.  He didn't allow his girls to go to the hospital, and this doctor was on his payroll.  He would allow her visible wounds to heal enough not to bleed on someone’s white leather interior, but that was it.  The doctor would splint her, stitch her, and drug her.

Amber, who was provided a fake identity, had an arrest record a mile long, and was used to be called, “Another body” by law enforcement, which did nothing but make her feel like less and less of a human.

She endured enough beatings over the first few years of her enslavement to learn how to avoid them.  She must always call her pimp 'Daddy', and she must never, ever say no to him, no matter how much she wanted to.  To do so would invoke a beating with a weapon that he made from wire hangers and a metal baseball bat.  Not every girl who worked for him lived to see their 21st birthday.

She tried to escape twice unsuccessfully, and nearly paid with her life the last time, so she vowed never to try again.

Through it all, she says she believed he loved her and wanted him to show it so badly that she would do anything to please him.  Her work was often rewarded with trips to tropical places where she could work less often and enjoy time with him a little more.  She believed that being beaten, raped, and choked was love if it was from him on a trip to the Bahamas.  He would tell her, “I love you so much, you’re going to make me kill you, aren't you?”  She would think, wow, he really loves me a lot if he loves me enough to kill me. 

As she dove into her late 20’s, she became less and less of a commodity.  She was showing her age only slightly, but it was slight enough that she wasn't getting high profile clients any longer.  They wanted young girls, the younger the better.  Because of this, her pimp started putting her on the street more and more.  Less of her clients were in posh hotels and limousines, they were middle aged middle class men and cheap hotels that smelled like sex and cigarette smoke.  The beatings became more and more common over less and less.

One day, he found something she had written about sending her family some money and letting them know she was alive.  The beating that ensued from that left her bleeding, scarred, stitched, bandaged, stapled, and casted.  She couldn't get out of bed for weeks, and she knew that he was going to kill her.
It took months of planning, but she got away from her pimp and moved to a different state.  She still sold herself for money because she didn't know any other way to earn a living, and eventually was picked up by the police, who instead of treating her like a criminal put her in a rehabilitation program where she currently works to help other women.

For fear of her pimp finding her, she has asked that her name, location, and personal details not be used, because he is still out there and she fears he is looking for her.  He has deep pockets and a team of lawyers that has gotten him out of every single charge, and his clientele are high profile. 
For now, Amber has reunited with her family and learned that she was a slave.  It took years for her to love herself.

This is just a piece of the pie when looking at the human condition in the United States.  Amber was much older than most girls who are groomed into the life before the age of 14, but her distinguished features made her as precious as diamonds.  I don't need a writing contest to tell her story, and twelve thousand dollars wouldn't even scratch the surface of need in the United States alone.  The things that make a difference in the human condition are beating hearts and caring souls.

Today, even though none of you will know her true identity, we celebrate her actions.  Amber receives Wonder Woman Wednesday this week.  She spent over a decade in hell and has chosen to help other women see the light shining from within her and push back the darkness.   It gives me a new outlook on doing hard things to build strong women.  


If you or someone you know has a story, this is a safe place.  Your details don’t have to be revealed, just your journey and how it has shaped you into a Wonder Woman.  Together we can make a difference.  One more person given the gift of awareness is one more ripple of light in the dark.

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Wonder Woman Wednesday-Secondary survivors

Wonder Woman Wednesday has been, up until today, used to feature strong women who have survived really, really hard things and used those things to help spread awareness of violence against women.  All of the Wonder Women of the past who have healed enough to finally tell their stories didn't wake up one day and go, “Hmm.. it’s Tuesday, I think I’m going to pour out my life today.” 

The progression to tell your story is usually as slow as honey in a blizzard.  It starts with one thought or motion, which grows into several thoughts and motions.  None of us can tell our story without the people who support us, hold our hand along the way, hand us tissues, and basically allow us to be blubbering snot factories and not treating us like we have Ebola.

All of us who have found the courage to stand up and tell our stories did not do so without being held up by an indestructible foundation made up of people who love us.  Those people aren't just unaffected super strong little versions of He-Man and She-Ra.  They have been hurt.  They have been affected.  They have held us, cried with us, prayed for us, been hurt by us, had to relearn how to act around us, and had to make their own decision, asking themselves if it is healthy for them to be the people we need them to be.

Being a secondary survivor is not an easy thing.  They may not have survived the actual moments of our lives, but they have had to survive us surviving the memory of those moments, which can be very traumatizing.

They are not all women, many of them are men who have made the choice to learn how to support us and be an advocate for our platform of awareness. 

The video I am sharing with you today is one secondary survivor, and he is a man.  If you are a survivor, you have to recognize the secondary survivors in your life and know that you could not be a Wonder Woman without them.

Kevin, I hope you are honored to be the first man to receive the Wonder Woman Wednesday feature.  All of the women you have helped become stronger, and all of the men you have educated make you a very valuable and important asset to everything we do to spread awareness.

Thank you for your dedication.






If you or someone you know has a story of survival, please email sunshine@YourDamselDiva.com.


Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Wonder Woman Wednesday-Wonder Woman in training

Saturday began like any other day.  We were all excited about our annual Halloween party to celebrate with our staff and clients of A Sunny Place Learning Center.  Every year, we strap on our skates and take over Skate World for an afternoon of costumes and shenanigans. 

Half way into the party, our ten-year-old daughter fell and we were sure she broke her wrist. 
Sure enough, a late night at the emergency room revealed not only that she broke it, but she really broke it.  They attempted to put her under to reset it, but the medication never took her all the way under, so the setting didn’t go as well as we would hope.

Through days of pain and misery, our girl always had a positive attitude, a smile, and a joke, even though we knew she was in a ton of pain.

Yesterday, we met with the surgeon to take a look at what was going on and form a plan.
She was in surgery this morning, and even though she was terrified and did not want to have to go under and have a pin put in her arm, but she again put on a brave face and in good form wowed the staff at the surgical center.

Watching her go through this has given me one very good reminder.

Wonder Woman Wednesday starts at home.  It begins with you.

As a mother of four amazing daughters, it’s very important to me that I instill in them a warrior attitude that isn’t to be confused with a, “suck it up buttercup” one.  I want them to have that delicate balance between putting on a brave face when they need to and still expressing their needs.  I want them to fight for what’s right, and stand up for people who are being hurt.  I want to fill them with passion and compassion.  When they wake up, I want them to look in the mirror and see the beauty of their creation instead of their flaws and misconceptions.

I want to raise Wonder Women. 

When they look back on their lives, I want them to see a long line of achievements and mistakes that they've learned from. 

This week has been a good test of where my ten-year-old is, and my heart is beaming with pride.  She’s put words to her struggles and numbers to her pain, asked for help when she needed it and asked to do it on her own when she felt strong enough.  She swallowed her fear because she knew it was necessary, and she eased the stresses of everyone around her with her smile and her positivity. 


Today, my choice for Wonder Woman Wednesday is my daughter.  I learn as much from her as she learns from me.