Wonder Woman Wednesday-Awareness in motion

I watched a movie once about a call to action to help fight abuse.  It said to use your talent, no matter what it was.  If you're a writer, write something, if you make movies, make a movie, if you're a musician, write a song.  Whatever your talent is, use it to do something.

I would like to introduce a woman named Christine Watson.  I don't know her story, and I can't even tell you for sure if the story portrayed is her own or the story of someone in her life.  She doesn't give the story words, but she still tells it in a way that will send chills up your spine.

***WARNING*** this video may trigger emotions for survivors.

Please enjoy this week's Wonder Woman.  She used her talent to spread awareness through beautiful and fluid movement.

If you have a talent and you have used it to spread awareness for abuse, sexual assault, domestic violence, or human trafficking, please email it to Sunshine@YourDamselDiva and you will be considered for our Wonder Woman Wednesday showcase.

If you only knew that you aren't alone

Tonight as I was sifting through piles and piles of scribbled notes and research for my book, I found a post it note that stopped me in my tracks.  Through the process of this whole crazy roller coaster ride of life I happen to be strapped in against my will, I have to keep remembering that this isn't for me.  This is for you.

The times I stare at blank sheets of paper and literally have arguments with the pen about putting the words down, the times I want to run and hide in the closet, and the times I don't think I can open that door again are for you, because you are still in the dark.

If you're hurting, or terrified, or thinking of hurting yourself, you're not alone.  There are so many people trapped in the darkness, hiding under blankets of shame, afraid of being found out, and terrified to face themselves in the mirror.  It's for you that life that was once buried deep under the ground encased in concrete that was encased in steel and covered with land mines behind fences that grew taller and thicker for miles and miles is now unearthed and on display.

In my endless stack of research and scribbles, there are endless emails from you.  I'm scared.  I'm terrified.  I'm lost.  I can't do this.  They all say the same thing:  Help me.

So I go on, and I will continue, and this book will be completed, and God will do with it what He sees fit to do, but until then, I want you to know that I am your biggest cheerleader.  I will carry this light and shine it into the darkness until you see me, and through that, I only hope you see yourself for what you really are.

On the crisp little yellow sticky note were the words that I scribbled in between two thoughts so I wouldn't forget: So many of you out there are hiding and hurting because of the shame you feel.  If you only knew that you aren't alone, and how beautiful and strong you are, imagine what you could accomplish!

Your travels are not over, and your work is far from done.  Your pain will remain as long as you hide from what caused it.  There is healing here.

Wonder Woman Wednesday-The warrior

Once upon a time there was a beautiful little girl born to a farm family.  The middle of five sisters, she grew up working hard every day to help keep the farm going.  She was a bright little girl that grew into a young lady so intelligent that she graduated from high school a year early, even though women did not usually graduate early in the 70’s. 

She dreamed of going to college but settled for a great job at the local Tupperware factory.  There she met the man of her dreams.  He swept her off of her feet from the first moment.  He looked like a movie star, and was a military man, so he was sure to get her out of the small life she saw herself living. 

It wasn't long before they married and she felt the fullness of a child in her belly.  Soon after, they got the word that he was to deploy to Vietnam.  He refused to go and was locked up for being a deserter.  Devastated at the thought of raising a child alone with a husband in prison, despair began to take its hold.  Just before the child was born, all deserters were freed from prison and given dishonorable discharges.

She found herself having to work hard to keep her family afloat.  He never went back to work and drowned his misery in drugs.  It wasn't easy to spot at first, because everyone seemed to be using drugs in the 70’s, but by the time most other people were growing up and finding careers in the 80’s, it became apparent that there was a problem.

Several times she would come home from another long day at work to find everything of value gone from the house because a drug dealer he owed money to came to take everything he could sell to get his money back.  Many times they had to hide the car from being repossessed because when it came time to make the payment, the money had gone to his drug habit. 

Two more children were born, and things just got harder.  He became more and more paranoid and abusive, and she had to work harder and harder to support her children, pay the bills, and recoup from the drug binges he was constantly on. 

Still, she put on a smile for her children and never showed that she was always one step away from breaking.  Things were hard.  There was never enough money.  Many times they had to steal toilet paper from public bathrooms by stuffing purses full, or had to carry groceries over a mile home from the grocery store.  One summer, they were homeless, and instead of letting her children feel any uncertainty, she slapped on a smile and said, “We’re going camping!”

Her children knew about the problem with drugs, but she always protected them from the fear of not having food or a home.  She always found a way, no matter how hard she had to work for it. 

Everything fell apart in one year.  Her oldest daughter started running away and getting into a lot of trouble.  She spent countless nights up crying and begging God to keep her daughter safe.  After things went too far, her daughter had to be sent away and it came out that the man she once considered to be the man of her dreams had been molesting her.  She ended her marriage and entered the worst season of despair in her life.  Her oldest child was hundreds of miles away and one of her sons became very ill. 

Still, she kept her tears to her alone time in the darkness of the night and never let on that she was terrified to carry on.  She carried the largest burden of guilt that sometimes she was sure would swallow her whole, but she kept on. 

Many women who find out that their husbands abused their children enter into such a denial that they end up victim blaming their children, pushing them away and causing them to fall deeper into the chasm of hopelessness.  There are several reasons this happens, they can’t believe that they wouldn't know it happened, or maybe they feel that an abuse accusation is a direct reflection on them.  There are countless blogs created by women who are married to child molesters who justify the reasons they stay with their husbands.  Most of them stand on the biblical principal that once you’re married, you have to stay married, which is great when dealing with any issue that isn't illegal or immoral, but child abuse is both of those things.  The damage this does to a child when they are not protected and treated is unspeakably as horrible as the abuse they endured. 

This particular mother did not hesitate, even after more than a decade of marriage, she ended it the day…the second she learned about the abuse. 

Looking back from that moment, it would seem that her life was nothing but one tragedy after another.  The abuse, the affairs she learned about after she threw her husband out, wondering how many more children were hurt by him, and a million other things would definitely give her a get-out-of-life-free card, and no one would blame her, but she still carried on.

Things continued to be hard, and in some ways even got harder, but if she was nothing else in this entire universe, she was going to be the rock her children needed to anchor themselves to reality, and because of that, they grew into loving adults who push back the darkness of this world and help bring light to those who suffer. 

She gave up herself to become what they needed to heal…to survive, and she did it fearlessly and ferociously.

Her strength and courage through trials and hardships unnumbered are why she is receiving the Wonder Woman Wednesday spotlight this week.  She may not have been dealt a fair hand by human standards, but her sacrifices and refusal to let hopelessness win makes her one of the bravest women on this planet.  She’s a warrior. 

I should know, she’s my mom.  She’s an artist, a NICU nurse, a fighter, and a survivor.  Part of what she does as an artist is drawing portraits of babies who are in heaven so their parents will have something beautiful for them.  She does this for free through her business, NewBourn Creations.  

If you are ready to share your story and help us in #fightingback against abuse towards women, email sunshine@yourdamseldiva.com.  

Why this Portland preschool teacher girl chose to be a Damsel in Defense Independent Pro

Alright everyone, here I am officially! My name is Sunshine (yes, for real), and I am a Damsel in Defense Independent Pro, and I have been for just over a year.

When I first started, I have to admit, I had done so much direct sales that I wasn't excited about doing it again, but I was completely in love with the products. That was the first thing that grabbed me.

I had a couple of parties, and my Pro was talking to me about doing it, and my husband, the analytical one of us, took a look at the hard numbers of this business. He sat me down one day and said, "Honey, this is going to be big. The numbers don't lie. In their first year, they blew most other direct sales companies out of the water, especially for being a brand new category of company. Where would you be if you were in the first wave of Scentsy consultants?"

So, I halfheartedly signed up, not because I didn't believe in the products, but I didn't believe in myself.   My Pro was ecstatic that I made the plunge, and since she has become my beautiful fiery red headed director, Karin Mitchell. 

The first thing that was different about being a Damsel in Defense rep was the leadership.  Normally, I was courted to join a team with promises of training and support, and as soon as my kit arrived, my upline was too busy to help me figure out what was going on.  With Damsel in Defense, that didn’t happen.  Our team is a sisterhood, and we cheer each other on, lift each other up, and teach each other all along the way.  We all bring experiences into this business that are important and necessary for all of us to have a full experience.  I can even call people who aren’t in my upline organization at all and pick their brains.  We’re all Facebook friends, we all run to each other with big hugs every time we see another Damsel sister, and most importantly, we all heal together.

The next big thing that happened to me was seeing  the video of our founders in the Philippines learning about Wipe Every Tear, our international charity that we support.  As I got to know the corporate team little by little, I started to see them for the beautiful people they were, not just some ladies who had a great idea and started a company.

After that, I got two phone calls in one month from women thanking me for the stun gun, because they had to use it. I was TORN UP! I had no idea what they would have done without Damsel products and knowledge!  I was still a baby in this company, so I was still working within my friends and family circle.  These were ladies that were dear friends whom I loved very, very much.  I cried and cried, and at that moment, I was all in, 100% career damsel, a crime fighting super hero.

I immediately grew a team without even really trying super hard, promoted up the ranks high enough to be invited to leadership training, where I got so sick that  I had to be flown home to go to a Portland hospital. 

The day I got home, two things happened.  I got a phone call from Bob Hipple, our CEO just checking up on me and making sure I didn’t need anything.  At this point he didn’t know me from any other pro, which means he would have called any of us.  He cared enough about each and every one of us that he called just to make sure I didn't need anything. 

The second thing that happened was getting an instant message from Mindy Lin, one of the co-founders, again, asking me if I needed anything and telling me how sorry she was that I had to miss the second half of Leadership Training.  I barely met her for five seconds, yet as soon as she found out I had to fly home, she was making sure I was okay. 

This, my friends, is a company with more heart than any I have ever been a part of.

Then, Mindy and Bethany came to Portland for a drop-in rally and I got to really meet them for the first time.  As soon as I walked in the door, Mindy and Bethany were hugging me and asking how I was.   I got to hear them speak live for the first time about their mission trip, and I swear I could see those girls from the Philippines staring at me through their eyes.   I knew then, that no matter how hard the road got, I would not fail them. 

A few more months rolled by, and I got another message from Mindy Lin asking if I would give a blurb on my story for National Sexual Assault Awareness month.   Gritting my teeth, I agreed, and there I was, showcased on the corporate page, then shared all throughout the land.  As scary as it was, it was also uplifting and healing….., and then was asked to speak at the second annual conference.

Wait....you want me to what? Tell my entire story in front of about 250 people?  Holy.  How do you say no to that?  How do you say yes?

You see, I'm a survivor, not only of sexual abuse from my father, but several attackers and tragedies that go along with spending your first 30 years as a victim. I was terrified but ready to use my story for good.

I took the stage, microphone shaking in my hand, voice shaking in my throat, and knees shaking beneath me and told my story.  Half way through, when the gasp happened where it always does when I tell my story, I wanted to run away and hide, but I didn’t.  I stayed and kept going because there is healing beyond the gasp.

Since, I have fallen more and more in love with what I do. I'm not a sales person. I am an educator who happens to also have self-defense tools, road side kits, and home protection products that you can purchase. I teach common sense self-defense above all, and give women the education and tools to survive. Through that, I have birthed countless survivors from the depths of being victims. I have given light to so many who were trapped in darkness, and I get emails every single day thanking me for my courage to take a stand and help them see that there is peace through healing.  Because of that, I will keep talking, keep sharing, and keep going through the gasp.

Damsel in Defense has given me more healing in one year than anything else I have tried all of my life.  I have created bonds stronger than steel with some of the most gracious and amazing women on the planet.  I have seen amazing things, and they just keep coming.

If you’re a victim, there is help.  I can help you find it.  If you’re a survivor, there are people who need you.  I can show you how to help them.  If you believe in becoming a crime fighting super hero, I can help with that too.

Are you ready to change your life?  Let’s talk.  sunshine@yourdamseldiva.com

New laws provide trafficking victims justice

This week, the U.S. House of Representatives has the opportunity to create even stronger laws to combat human trafficking and protect the victims with the passage of eight anti-trafficking bills. 

Five bills have already passed, including:

1. H.R.4980 - Preventing Sex Trafficking and Strengthening Families Act 
2. H.R.2283 - Human Trafficking Prioritization Act
3. H.R.5135 - Human Trafficking Prevention, Intervention, and Recovery Act of 2014 
4. H.R.5076 - Enhancing Services for Runaway and Homeless Victims of Youth Trafficking Act of 2014 
5. H.R.4449 - Human Trafficking Prevention Act 

Three more important pieces of legislation await votes:

1. H.R.5111 - To Improve the Response to Victims of Child Sex Trafficking 
2. H.R.5116 - Human Trafficking Detection Act of 2014 
3. H.R.5081 - Strengthening Child Welfare Response to Trafficking Act of 2014 

Each of these bills contains important provisions to strengthen the overall framework of anti-trafficking laws. Several of the bills recognize the critical role child welfare agencies play in preventing, identifying and responding to trafficking of children in foster care.  Others heighten the scrutiny on the agencies tasked with preventing and fighting trafficking in the U.S. and abroad. Members of Congress from across the nation, from South Dakota to Michigan, Nevada to New Jersey, and states in between are seeing the threat sex trafficking poses to people in their states and are taking action to stop it.

"Together, these eight bills work to provide trafficking victims with the greatest level of restoration and justice possible."-Congresswoman Linda Smith, President and Founder of Shared Hope International

Keep the advocacy strong!  Shared Hope International made great progress but we're not done yet! Please visit our Legislative Action Center for a complete listing of bills that need your support. You can also track pending legislation in your state with our online bill tracking.